I can't come to work today...

[Elbow]

What are the best or worst excuses, you've used or heard, for not making it to work?

...I thought it was Sunday?

...roids?

...Can't come in today, the springs on the garage door broke and I can't get the car out because the door won't open?

Post'em

[rogerSIMIAN]

My pal got a day off work saying he had terrible diarrhoea. Nothing too astounding there, but he then managed to extend his leave of absence to almost a week by saying he'd been running to the bathroom with quite some urgency, tripped down the stairs and twisted his ankle. There's a kind of skiving genius at work there, 'cause who's going to question a story like that too closely in the workplace?

:euro:

[BiggsTrek]

...Can't come in today, the springs on the garage door broke and I can't get the car out because the door won't open?

That actually happened to me once... then later I opened it by hand. Damnit...

Um, I had a friend who worked for the government in Australia. He said a colleague called in sick with BUBONIC PLAGUE. Their boss wasn't impressed, but my friend (and I) thought it was hilarious.

[TheFlyingDuDe]

A friend of my had a hilarious excuse... not for calling in sick but coming late thou... anyway:
He said he arrived in time at the back door of our school but it was still looked, from the distence he saw a teacher walking torwards him and the door, so he decided to wait for him... but then the teacher didn´t have a key so they had to walk around the whole school together to get to the front entrence...
that was his excuse for being 30min late :P

[kuroken]

I work for the government. I don't give an excuse.

When I'm sick, I call in and say "I'm taking a sick day" - I do not say "I'm sick" because sometimes that might cause my nose to grow slightly.

We get about 10 sick days a year. There's no cap on accumulated sick time, but when I retire (based on my hire date), I get 50% of whatever hours I have accumulated in a lump sum payment. Somebody getting hired today might get 10%, or maybe none (they've continued cutting it down over the years).

My philosophy is I can get 50% of something (by not using it) or 100% (by using it). I'm not a math whiz, but even I can figure which is more advantageous.

My hope is to retire with 0 sick hours on the books.

But so as not to take the thread someplace else, let me say that though I don't come up with outlandish reasons for calling out sick (refraining, even, from the Biggstrek cough :sailor:), I did once have somebody working for me try to pull a fast one.

The county allows you to take sick time if a family member is ill - clearly designed for a parent with a child, or whatever. Guy had to take his cat to the vet for something or other, and then attempted to convince me that he should take sick time because the cat was "a member of the family".

I didn't care if he used sick time or not, and had he just said "I was sick", that would have ended it. But since he chose to bring his little Fluffy into it, I had no choice but to force him to take vacation time.

[Howitzer]

Back when I was in school one of my friends had the genius excuse of:
"I was on the bus when I sneezed on the back of the head of a sixth former who then chased me off the bus and down the street and I didn't want to go back and wait for another bus in case he was waiting to get me."
lol. Complete BS of course :P

[Uber]

I sent an sms to my director once. You probably call them text messages. Mainly because it was school holidays and mrs uber and the ubettes were down on the in-laws' farm and I was home alone when i got a throat infection. Couldn't talk, so couldn't call in sick.