Heddy hooper's hollywood

[Heddy Hooper]

Yes Darlings I caught the last lifeboat on the sinking Good Ship TMO and have come to join you all here. My stockings may be a bit soggy after the ordeal but the sight of the gleaming and glorious TMU on the horrizon braving the ice flows of the internet ether urged me. Like like Molly Brown (But with nicer hats) I sholdered the oar to row on to saftey.

So darlings lets carry on and if you have any dirt just give me a whistle, you know how to whistle don't you? You just put your lips together and blow.... Sounded better when Lauren Bacall said it to Boggie. I am here to promote your pictures and pump up your stars egos. And for a little green letuce knock down the stars of your rival studios. Just drop me a PM with all the muck and I'll rake it into tidy little rows for you.

Remember Darlings, If the dirt is flying in Hollywood I'll be there with my catcher mitt!

[Heddy Hooper]

Yes darlings it is official Ava Turner and Richard Bourbon the biggest megastars in the world have bought a charming 52 room bungalow in the TMU hills!
It seems that they have wanted to make the move for some time but now that things are getting sticky over at TMO the glamorous couple made it official today.
"I really am looking forward to our new home here" Said Ava as she unpacked her diamonds from the trunk in her new bedroom with its commanding view of TMU city. "Richard and I have been adrift since "Cleopatra" and quite frankly we were tired of all the paparazzi swarming over our fence at TMO. Everyone here is so nice and they treat us like plan old Mr. and Mrs. Bourbon rather than a Hollywood side show. We really are just very simple people."

http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/8591/a3ej0.jpg
(Ava and Richard arrive at there new home with little fuss.)

I asked her what their plans were for the near future.

"Well we are reading scripts. I want to do "The Hand of the Hunter" or "The Sinpiper" but Richard has his eye on a play, "Who's Afraid of Virginia Hamm?" Then there is the role of Tangerine Peale in that Bond film, "Quantity Of Succor" that MGM has been toying with. I think it would be a hoot to be a "Bond girl".And don't tell Richard but I think that Craig Daniels is the sexiest thing to come out of England since King Charles II. But noting has be signed. Right now I just want to stretch out and watch TV and eat fried chicken till I can't zip up my Capri pants." She then let out that famous Ava cackle which started all the dogs in the canyon below to howling.
Ava then placed the Tears of Russia Tiara on her head and joined in howling with the dogs. Moving in day was a howling success.

[Dulci]

It's marvelous to see you here Ms. Hooper!

[Chris62]

Great to see you here Heddy i always get a laugh from your threads Welcome Heddy Hooper.:yes:

[Heddy Hooper]

Darlings while having my morning cupa I received a lovely note from that enchanting Il Duce, I mean Dulci. She was so lovely to welcome me to TMU City. She is not only one of the most gorgous stars around but a real lady too. Not like some of the plastic numbers one bounces off of in this town. So I wanted to share with you all my response to Duce, er...I mean Dulci!

"Darling, thank you! You are one of my very favorite stars (and directors too!) And for your kind welcome I shall never, Never, say a bad thing about you in my column. (I may do it on TV though)

Love,
Heddy"

And Chris62 darling I do see you peeking over my Pekingese at the end of my bed! Thank you too! So untill next time, remember Darlings if the dirt is flying in Hollywood, I'll be there with my catcher's mitt.

[Sparky]

Hey Heddy, nice to have you here at last. You bring a certain touch of class to this community. :)

cheers

[Roger]

Hey Heddy, nice to have you here at last. You bring a certain touch of class to this community. :)

cheers
Stop flirting with Heddy! :4:



Good to see you here Heddy. Now I can get my regular fix of gossip here on TMU! :)

[Norrie]

Who let this bitch in?

Great. More unfounded, scurrilous, malicious rumours spread by a washed up has been with the charm and grace of an LA sewer run off.

This loathsome gin-soaked, bitter, shrew-like harridan deserves to be ignored. We're better than this people – if we pay no attention, we'll starve her of the publicity she feeds on like the blood sucking parasite she is.

Nothing personal Heddy :)

[Roger]

Who let this bitch in?

Great. More unfounded, scurrilous, malicious rumours spread by a washed up has been with the charm and grace of an LA sewer run off.

This loathsome gin-soaked, bitter, shrew-like harridan deserves to be ignored. We're better than this people – if we pay no attention, we'll starve her of the publicity she feeds on like the blood sucking parasite she is.

Nothing personal Heddy :)
This reminds me of one of those old Hollywood movies when both the stars act like they hate each other, but they are really in love.

Have you got the hots for Heddy, Norrie? :54:

[Norrie]

I'm no star Roger, and Heddy is colder than a well digger's ass in a Montana winter.

The thought that I could, in any way, be enamoured with that puke ridden, addlebrained, repugnant, execrable, excuse for a reporter fills me with a bile so loathsome I'd need a pint of rye to wash the taste away.

No doubt the cow will respond to my reasoned rebuff by posting more pictures of her "ingénue" Mimi van Doren.

Nothing happened I tell you! NOTHING.

Man, a pint of rye sounds sweet right now. Back to the Southside LA flop palace for me.

[Roger]

While I was at Heddy's downtown apartment this morning, a bouquet was delivered. I'm not saying anything, but I found the attached card very interesting!


http://img359.imageshack.us/img359/7106/minibouquetwithcardck8.jpg (http://imageshack.us)


I bumped into Sparky when I left. Thats the third morning this week!

[Norrie]

I bumped into Sparky when I left. Thats the third morning this week!

More interestingly, how many times did you bump? And who bumped and who was the recipient?

[Roger]

More interestingly, how many times did you bump? And who bumped and who was the recipient?
I guess I may as well come clean, as it's going to be in tomorrow's gossip columns anyway.

I fell into debt and Heddy offered me money to bail me out. I didn't want Jimmy the Fish breathing down my neck.

Heddy didn't want me to pay her the money back, she wanted me to clean her apartment for her instead. I have now been doing it for the last six months. But that is not the worst of it. She bought me a uniform which consists of an apron. She insists that I wear only the uniform. Oh the shame! :crying:

[TheMGMKid]

I guess I may as well come clean, as it's going to be in tomorrow's gossip columns anyway.

I fell into debt and Heddy offered me money to bail me out. I didn't want Jimmy the Fish breathing down my neck.

Heddy didn't want me to pay her the money back, she wanted me to clean her apartment for her instead. I have now been doing it for the last six months. But that is not the worst of it. She bought me a uniform which consists of an apron. She insists that I wear only the uniform. Oh the shame! :crying:


In response to the above revelation, I can only quote Sandy Dennis in Who's Afraid of Virginia Wollf? "Oh, my my my my my!"

[Heddy Hooper]

Darlings you may recall that a few years back I had a run in with a certain LA PI by the name of Norrie. Now he is back trying to besmirch my name. All because of a little diversion I created to get him off my tail. The little diversion was a certain Imperium International starlet by the name of Mamie Van Voren.

http://img239.imageshack.us/img239/5298/thatcertainitchwb4.jpg (Mamie has the goods on Norrie. Got Milk?)

Well it seemed to have worked and Mamie was mum on the details of what transpired. But due to recent events where this washed up low rent Private Eye has climbed out of the Skid Row gutters on Spring Street I see that there is something more to the story.
Just exactly why he is out to get my goat I have no idea so I am on the case to end this attack. My guess is that he is in the employ of Farmel Finkelstine my rival in the gossip bizz. She has always been envious of my clout here in town and the fact that the studio head including MGM kowtow to me. They and Farmel know I can make or break them with just a few bon mots.

And yes it is true that Roger is my housekeeper. He is such a dynamo with the Spic And Span. And he looks so cute in the little French Maid's appron. Especially from behind, like jello on springs!

Stay tuned Darlings for further updates.
Remember if the dirt is flying in Hollywood (even about me) I'll be there with my catcher’s mitt.

[Roger]

Oh the shame! :34:

[Norrie]

Mamie got milk? Hell no. The dried up, failed, coquette.

I had the milk of human kindness in me to give her the night of her miserable existence.

The things I do for revenge. Mamie was so grateful, desperate, and craving for more, she slipped me this candid pic of Heddy before she spends hours putting on her "public" face.

http://www.eatmycinema.com/files/images/Heddy.jpg

Mamie snapped other pics – someone in a maids outfit, and a pouty lipped Brit in flagrante she maintains. I'll hold that back for now.

Back off Heddy. No low life knows low life like I know low life; and you know you're low life.

[Roger]

Norrie you do realise you could make a lot of money working for the gossip columns yourself? :p