Quote:
Originally Posted by squirrelygirl
Thank you very much Jase and A_N_D! I really apreciate the help!
I am doing this both for myself and for everyone who is excited about helping me with this project. As I said, I love writing and it's almost magical to see your story come to life as a movie.
One of my other questions has to do with this:
A lot of the books I have on screenplays says that you need a lot of action in them and not so much dialog, but when I watch the animated movies on this site and others there seems to be more dialog than action.
So, when I'm making the movie should I cut out a lot of the action and if so which sort of action should I cut out?
|
A lot of the lack of action you see in Machinima is due to the fact that there are often only so many pre-rendered animations available in each program. Oftentimes, dialogue will fill up the spaces where directors might otherwise have preferred to have major action set pieces...
Personally, I couldn't possibly disagree more with the line about cutting back on dialogue in favor of action. I'm not really a mindless action flick guy - just turned down an invite to go see the new "Fast and Furious" flick about five minutes ago - and I often prefer headier, "talky" films.
I write plenty of dialogue, and would argue that the best stories could be done as radio plays without
any visual action. It can be a delicate balance, using dialogue to move the story forward without being entirely expository, taking care to throw in small asides and normal conversational things (for realistic flow of conversation), all while trying to avoid spoon-feeding things to the audience.
So, really, there's two items to talk about here - avoiding expository dialogue and embracing the concept of "Show, don't tell".
Expository dialogue is dialogue used solely to advance the plot, and actually makes experienced writers (and their audiences) cringe.
Let's say that Guy A talks to Guy B at a pizza shop about his girlfriend. Guy A then works out his problems with his girlfriend.
He meets with Guy B later on, and begins their conversation with a line like
"So, remember those problems with my girlfriend I told you about?"
Full stop - that last line fairly beats you over the head with what has already happened, insulting your intelligence to boot!
Of course Guy B remembers! It happened an hour ago, and the character is only bringing this up to advance the plot. This is sloppy writing and should be avoided at all costs.
Imagine, if after talking to his girlfriend, Guy A goes to meet with B once more, and Guy B has a look of anticipation on his face as if to say, "Well, how'd it go?" Right there, the audience knows what they are going to talk about.
In cases like the one above, it's easy to see where eliminating dialogue is the way to go.
So, what about eliminating unnecessary action?
When it comes time to start cutting out action, keep in mind the concept of
showing up late and getting out early.
This means that if your scene involves a bank robber robbing a bank, it isn't necessary to start the scene with his waking up, turning off his alarm clock, getting up, showering, brushing his teeth, getting dressed and armed, driving to the bank...
Of course this will vary depending on the tone of your film, but isn't it more interesting to start the scene with him in line at the bank, looking nervous and fingering the weapon in his pocket, just seconds before all hell breaks loose?
Another example...
A husband and wife have been separated. The husband and his wife are meeting for lunch to talk about their future. The wife is going to tell him she wants a divorce.
Most beginners would spend a lot of time getting the husband to this lunch meeting. He might take some time deciding what he is going to wear. He might dawdle on the way, so as not to be early and appear to be anxious. He might fortify himself with a drink or two. Finally he'll be met at the restaurant by a hostess and led to the booth where his wife waits. They'll be small talk. A waiter will take an order for drinks. More small talk. A waiter will take their lunch orders. More small talk. Eventually they'll get around to talking about their marriage, at which time the wife will say she wants a divorce.
Although there are dramatic contexts in which this slow development can work, in most cases this scene will be too slow. It has too much fat. What is the point of the scene? The news of divorce. A more skilled screenwriter, therefore, would open the scene just before this moment. The couple is already seated at lunch. They are eating silently. Suddenly the wife pops the news.
There is a context in which the slow version is stronger than the more efficient version. Let's say that while getting ready, the husband fetches a handgun, loads it, and hides it on his person. Now where there was slow development and fat before, there is tension because we are on the edge of our seats, wondering what he is going to do with the gun. And the longer we have to wait, the more tense the story becomes.
In other words, for slowly developing scenes to work, there must be an element to justify their pacing. In general, the crisper the scene, the better.
What about getting out of this scene?
In the first version, without the gun, beginners would have the wife pop the news and have this lead into an argument, probably the kind of argument we've heard many times before. This argument may take several pages, even though we learn nothing new from it.
A more skilled screenwriter might have the wife's news be the last line in the scene. A quick look at the husband's reaction and cut: maybe to the husband having a drink in a bar, or talking with a friend, or sleeping with his mistress.
Once again, the gun changes everything because it adds a dynamic new element to the dramatic mix. The wife gives the news. A beginning writer might have the husband take out the gun and shoot her. Chaos results. The husband is wrestled to the ground by customers. He barely gets away.
A more skilled screenwriter would surprise us. The husband takes out the gun and points it at his temple. Would he really? The wife looks like she's about to have a heart attack. He pulls the trigger. Nothing. "I was going to shoot you but I chickened out," he says. "I took out the bullets. Have a nice life." He leaves.
In short (and I say that wth the greatest awareness of its irony), what do you cut?
Anything that beats you over the head with
OR slows down the progression of your story.
A_N_D
Linear Mode
